Peanut is three months old today! The time has really flown by. He's smiling more, cooing occasionally, and is still a squirmy wormy. He tolerates diaper changes now (thanks to the mobile over the changing table) and will even smile during changing time if I talk or sing to him. He's a once-every-three-days pooper and let me tell you, he POOPS. He'll grunt 3 or 4 times, then fill his diaper. The grunting is adorable. The diapers are scary. We've started giving him an ounce of apple juice a day (at the pediatrician's suggestion) to keep him pooping since 3 days is the most they want him to go in between poops. He absolutely loves his juice and smacks his lips when it's finished. It's a completely different reaction from the one he gets when we try to give gripe water. He coughs as if we're choking him to death. The stuff tastes like licorice and both mommy and daddy hate licorice, so he came by his aversion honestly.

I started back to work this week, just half-days for a couple of months. It wasn't terrible since hubby's mom is here to watch him and I know he's in good hands. When he starts daycare, I know I'll be a crying mess. Today was a tough morning, though. He was colicky until around 11 last night when finally snuggled him to sleep. He slept really well for 2 hours until he got hungry (it had been 5 hours since his last bottle - unfortunately the first 3 hours were spent with him crying and screaming). After a peaceful bottle, he fell back asleep, but was squirmy and restless. We slept in until he woke up for another bottle at 6:30, an hour later than normal. I really didn't want to go into work, knowing that I was an hour and a half behind my usual schedule, but I made myself get dressed and go. He actually went 5 hours after the middle-of-the-night bottle, but by the time I held him upright for 30 minutes (to avoid spewage) and pumped, I had been up for an hour and a half. I love the nighttime feedings because he's so happy and cuddly and falls asleep on my shoulder, but I hate the length of time the holding upright and pumping take. Now that hubby's over his respiratory infection, he can help out at night.

My mom seems to be doing better with her shingles outbreak. She has no new blisters and the doctor prescribed a painkiller patch that it doing its job. It deadens all pain, so she had to be careful not to accidentally hurt herself.

Where does the time go? I've been meaning to blog, well, forever, and can never find the time. Peanut is an awesome baby, but generally cannot be put down or else he screams. Sometimes if I lay him down when the planets are in aligment and he's in deep sleep, he'll actually stay asleep for an hour or two. Usually as soon as I lay him down, the crying starts. I bought a handsewn sling from one of the LLL mommies and am typing while wearing him. He's getting squirmy, so I'm not sure how well it'll go...Ok, binky in mouth, crisis averted...maybe. Oh yeah, I swore up and down no binkies, but that went out the window once I realized he wasn't going to breastfeed. Since he can't comfort nurse on me, the binky it is.

He's getting big - up to 10 lbs now - more than double his birthweight. He's big enough to be on the charts, even if it is in the 8th percentile. The pediatrician thinks he'll catch up to average fairly quickly. He's much more alert now and loves to look around and take in the world. The mobile above his changing table is a lifesaver and keeps him somewhat distracted during diaper changes (which he LOATHES). He's already a TV junkie, much to my dismay. The playmat and bouncy chair will keep him happy for about 5 minutes, and he cooed the other night at his reflection! His smiles will melt your heart. Hubby and I can't wait till he starts to giggle.

Hubby is back to work now and we're surviving it OK. I go back in about 2 weeks and am not looking forward to it. Mom has been pressuring us to let her watch the baby part time and do daycare part time. Financially it's not worth it - they don't do part time, so we'd pay the full amount. We also both wonder how safe she'd be. She loves him and is good with him, but she's just not as aware as she needs to be. She was holding him over her shoulder trying to soothe him and his face mushed into the couch cushions behind her - enough to where it muffled his cries. She's gotten so deaf she didn't realize it. Luckily hubby was close enough to hear it and told her to move the baby. This is the second time she's done it. She's also unsteady on her feet due to arthritis and poor balance, so I worry when she walks him. She stumbles fairly often.

Our compromise has been supervised visits. She comes over for a couple of days a week which allows me to do chores or sleep while she holds him, but I'm always around to keep an eye on things. We don't have the heart to tell her this, but there's no way we'll leave him alone with her for more than an hour or two until he's older.

I'm still pumping and though I don't really like doing it, plan to keep on. I keep on reminding myself that mommy's milk is the best thing for him. I found a couple of online support groups that have been a sanity saver. It's reassuring to know I'm by no means the only one out there and that there are some super mommies who have gone a year or even two years pumping.