Where does the time go? I've been meaning to blog, well, forever, and can never find the time. Peanut is an awesome baby, but generally cannot be put down or else he screams. Sometimes if I lay him down when the planets are in aligment and he's in deep sleep, he'll actually stay asleep for an hour or two. Usually as soon as I lay him down, the crying starts. I bought a handsewn sling from one of the LLL mommies and am typing while wearing him. He's getting squirmy, so I'm not sure how well it'll go...Ok, binky in mouth, crisis averted...maybe. Oh yeah, I swore up and down no binkies, but that went out the window once I realized he wasn't going to breastfeed. Since he can't comfort nurse on me, the binky it is.

He's getting big - up to 10 lbs now - more than double his birthweight. He's big enough to be on the charts, even if it is in the 8th percentile. The pediatrician thinks he'll catch up to average fairly quickly. He's much more alert now and loves to look around and take in the world. The mobile above his changing table is a lifesaver and keeps him somewhat distracted during diaper changes (which he LOATHES). He's already a TV junkie, much to my dismay. The playmat and bouncy chair will keep him happy for about 5 minutes, and he cooed the other night at his reflection! His smiles will melt your heart. Hubby and I can't wait till he starts to giggle.

Hubby is back to work now and we're surviving it OK. I go back in about 2 weeks and am not looking forward to it. Mom has been pressuring us to let her watch the baby part time and do daycare part time. Financially it's not worth it - they don't do part time, so we'd pay the full amount. We also both wonder how safe she'd be. She loves him and is good with him, but she's just not as aware as she needs to be. She was holding him over her shoulder trying to soothe him and his face mushed into the couch cushions behind her - enough to where it muffled his cries. She's gotten so deaf she didn't realize it. Luckily hubby was close enough to hear it and told her to move the baby. This is the second time she's done it. She's also unsteady on her feet due to arthritis and poor balance, so I worry when she walks him. She stumbles fairly often.

Our compromise has been supervised visits. She comes over for a couple of days a week which allows me to do chores or sleep while she holds him, but I'm always around to keep an eye on things. We don't have the heart to tell her this, but there's no way we'll leave him alone with her for more than an hour or two until he's older.

I'm still pumping and though I don't really like doing it, plan to keep on. I keep on reminding myself that mommy's milk is the best thing for him. I found a couple of online support groups that have been a sanity saver. It's reassuring to know I'm by no means the only one out there and that there are some super mommies who have gone a year or even two years pumping.