Monday, June 28, 2004

I heard the peanut's heartbeat for the first time today! I had my 14 week appointment (even though I'm still technically in my 13th week). Ohmygod it was amazing. The heartbeat was so loud and obvious...the doctor found it right away. I immediately started to cry I was so happy and relieved. The doctor also listened for my heartbeat in the placenta which was audible, but softer and slower. In two weeks I go for the triple-screen test. Fingers are crossed. I'm still nervous and worried as heck, but I think hubby and I are going to let the cat out of the bag and tell everyone.

The bad news - Mom's not doing so hot. She thought she needed admittance to the crisis unit last week. Her doctor decided not to admit her, but told her to up the anti-depressant, stop taking the painkillers for her back, to come back in 10 days, and to have a therapist by the time she goes back. I think a combination of things led to her going unstable: she's been in severe back pain since she came back from visiting family a few weeks ago. She saw a new neurosurgeon who put her on painkillers which can (and did) have a downer effect, and her shrink is moving away within a month. She also is dealing with my grandmother's dementia. Gramma is 93, in a nursing home, and when Mom visited, she had no idea who Mom was. She's done that with other family members, and the only ones she really knows anymore are my aunt and uncle who still live nearby and can visit regularly. She has days when she doesn't even know who they are, either. Mom was aware of all that, but actually visiting Gramma and seeing firsthand how far gone she is was hard to handle.

I saw Mom this weekend and took her to the grocery store and she was doing fairly well. She didn't cry and even laughed a little. I hope she can quickly get stable.

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