Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The hearing went well. The public defender insisted on speaking with Mom privately and she apparently agreed that she needs to go into residential treatment. She'll be transferred sometime within the next couple of weeks.

I had a long talk with the psychiatrist. She and the hospital are doing all the can, but Mom simply refuses to do anything that will help herself. Once her stay at the residential facility is over, anything can happen. They can't force her into an ALF or group home, so she could wind up on her own again. According to the doctor, Mom's fantasy is for me to quit working so she can live with us and I can be with her 24/7. Mom needs to somehow get out of the fantasy world and learn to cope with reality. Even if I could afford to quit my job, I could not take on the role of her caretaker. It's too heavy a burden. The doctor reminded me that Mom is not my responsibility and that my birth did not obligate me to provide unrealistic care.

The doctor also stated several times that roughly 15-20% of people with Mom's condition commit suicide. She stated that it's a possibility with Mom. It was a terrible thing to hear, but I'm glad she's honest. If Mom continues to refuse treatment, she will eventually end up in another situation where she can harm herself. Years ago, when I took the Family-to-Family class offered by NAMI, they discussed the mortality (morbidity?) rates associated with various mental disorders. Those numbers are all too real. I keep praying that she'll find a way out of despair, find a way to fight the illness, find ways to cope with her anxiety and depression.

1 comment:

onward and upward! said...

Hang in there. I read your post over at Her Bath Mother's Basement and was touched by your plight.

My father is severely mentally ill as well. But because he has broken the law so many times, he is a ward of the state. But he hasn't always been locked up, there have been times in his life when he's been in residential and group homes.

You aren't alone in this ... so many families suffer.