Bean has a full-on toddler attitude. Hubby and I laugh over it so often. At least we were prepared for it - Peanut's 'Tude years lasted a while.

I asked Bean a yes/no question and couldn't understand his answer - it could've bean "yeah" or "nah". I asked him to repeat it. "I SAID NO, MOMMY!" Mmmm-kay.

He loves the moon. We've made sure to look at the pretty full moon the past couple of nights. We checked out the moon last night, shortly before bedtime. I was getting ready to do the final back scratch when he demanded to see the moon again. Up he got and trundled into the master bedroom, with the best moon view. We said our goodnights to the moon and the boys went back to bed.

He flipped out this morning wanting the moon. Nothing was working. Finally Hubby said "I'll call the moon when we get home and make an appointment to see her tonight." Bean was happy.

Things continue to be a roller coaster at Chez Selzach. Thankfully, it's been nothing we can't handle, but I'm ready for things to settle down.

Hubby got out of the leg brace this week. Now the hard part of physical therapy will start. He's regained some limited mobility in the knee, but it needs a lot of work.

I had an ugly mole removed today. It's something I've had for years and the dermatologist was pretty sure it's nothing bad, but he recommended removal. I was tired of every doctor/dentist/pediatric dentist/concerned person asking about it. I had it checked several years ago and was told it was OK but was ready to be done with it. Biopsy results and suture removal come next week.

Bean has now had 3 dentist/oral surgeon appointments for what we believe is a lamina cyst. The oral surgeon has referred him to a pediatric oral surgeon in nearby Big City so we're waiting to hear back on that. It will probably be removed under anesthesia.
I'm hoping we can just go and get it done, but have a feeling we'll have to go in for a consultation, then the actual removal. Having anyone go under general anesthesia really stresses me out, but I'm glad the oral surgeon wants us to go to Big City. Apparently our local hospital doesn't have a pediatric anesthesiologist and they have a reputation for delaying surgeries which isn't easy with a 2-yr-old under NPO orders.

Peanut ran out of subsidized Pre-K hours, then daycare upped their rates $45/week. In two months our costs have gone up $70/week. We were already just squeaking by with making payments on all the medical bills. Now we're back to putting stuff on the credit card. I have no idea how much the pediatric oral surgeon will be. Our dental coverage is shit. If it somehow falls under regular health insurance we'll be much better off.

I think my friendship with BF may have breathed its last breath. I'm still feeling ambivalent about it. She hasn't been much of a friend for years, but we were such good friends at one time. There weren't any fights or anything, just that we've really drifted apart and rarely speak to each other. She still forwards me chain emails, but that's about it.

Work is good. Things are still mostly calm with the occasional outburst by Dr. Evil directed at Newer Coworker. I still get along very well with Newer Coworker, but she is LAZY. It's getting old and I'm wondering if Boss has started to pick up on it. She stresses about having so much work to do, but spends hours online every day. I can't say too much - I have my slow days, too. But when I have work to do, I do it. And when I'm really slow I find things to do.

The boys now sleep in their own beds! It's awesome! Speaking of which, it's time to get them ready for bed.

Peanut is really, really reading. He points to signs from the car and reads them out loud to us. He has a couple of beginning-reader books that he can read almost competely by himself. It's so cool!

Bean is talking in sentences, including lovely phrases like "Mommy, leave me 'lone!" and "I do it!" He's transitioning into the terrible twos. Tantrums have increased exponentially and have ramped up from crying and the occasionaly lying-on-the-floor-and-kicking variety to the full-blown-ear-splitting-screaming variety. Yay.

He's still a sweetie, though. We get plenty of "I love yous".

Hubby's knee surgery was two weeks ago. He's healing well, but is still fairly limited. His mom stayed with us until just a couple days ago and I am so thankful. I don't know what I would've done without her help.

Hubby was in a horrid pain for the first 2-3 days and was dizzy and nauseous from the pain meds. He fainted in the bathroom two days post-surgery, resulting in me calling an ambulance. He was OK and managed to get back up and into bed with his mom's help. We decided to let EMS respond anyway, to make sure he was alright. Everything checked out and it was probably a combination of the meds and him getting upright too quickly.

Our awesome neighbors mowed the front lawn for us yesterday. I came home, and there the neighbor was, zipping through our yard on his riding mower. I took them a bottle of wine and thanked his wife - haven't had a chance to thank him yet.

Mom stayed last night while Hubby worked late (he's on light duty now). The kids were pleased. I was driven nuts. She wasn't tolerating a new medication and was feeling shaky and sick. She took it out on Hubby this morning while he drove her home, telling him I need his help. Yes, I do, but he's still limited as to what he can do around the house & with the kids. He's doing as much as he physically can and didn't need her to make him feel like a lazy-ass.

I'll be so happy when he's back to full use of his leg and can start working details again. The medical bills are adding up!

Gah, I feel like I'm nothing but a downer lately. I'm not always unhappy, really.

The latest - Hubby fucked up his knee during his martial arts class. He threw a new student, who supposedly had martial arts experience. The guy didn't know how to be thrown, so Hubby held him longer than he should have and the guy fell on Hubby's leg, so POP went the knee. The new student is well over 6 ft tall and a big guy, naturally.

Hubby had an MRI yesterday and won't see the orthopedic specialist till next week. He just happened to drop our kids off at the same time as one of Peanut's friends was being dropped off and they boys got talking about his knee. The other dad asked if Hubby had testing yet and Hubby replied in the affirmative and mentioned the medical clinic we use. Other Dad is a radiology tech there and offered to call Hubby today with the results. He called this morning and it's bad. Completely torn MCL + one of the other ligaments and a torn meniscus. We won't know if it will require surgery until the doctor sees him.

Please, no surgery.

What a week.

Lily took a turn for the worse overnight Tuesday. She had tarry stools and fluid in her abdomen on Wednesday morning. We knew things were bad, but Hubby decided to take her to the animal hospital for the ultrasound, just to be certain. She had stomach cancer. I went Thursday morning to say our goodbyes and be with her. She was so much worse than when I had last seen her Monday morning. Afterward, the vet asked if I wanted to feel the tumors. I'm not a vet, but I could feel the lump. I'm a bit upset that our vet missed it, but I don't know how easy it would be to find if it wasn't something you already knew was there.

Peanut took her death much better than we thought he would. He's already asking when we can get a new dog (not anytime soon).

I also found out that the woman who babysat me from babyhood into early school years passed away last week. I was happy to hear she was at home with her family. She was one of those very special people. She loved us as if we were her own grandchildren. For some reason, she especially took to Mom and me.

One of my friends/coworkers lost her grandmother this week and another's has cancer.

A couple of my comments disappeared. Blogger is doing weird things.

Meadowlark - I can't imagine a pet dying from rat poison. What a horrible way to die.

Lily is back at the vet's. Based on her symptoms, the vet believes she either has pancreatitis or something (bad) wrong with her liver. She wanted us to take Lily to a well-outifitted animal hospital for an ultrasound and biopsy of the liver. Hubby and I discussed the cost, how much we've already spent (around $800 in the past two weeks), logistics of getting her to and from another town, and Lily's age. He spoke again with the vet and decided to go ahead with treatment for pancreatitis to see if that helps her. If it doesn't then we'll probably go with the high-tech place (which will be another $350-$400 just for the ultrasound), knowing what she has will likely be lethal.

I hate to sound like it's all about money. It's not. But we are very tight right now. We finally, FINALLY paid off both credit cards in February with our tax return. I thought we'd be able to focus on building up our savings account/emergency fund.

Then our primary car needed $2K in repairs, finishing off the tax return, followed by Dad getting sick and my trip to visit him. Then we got the bill for Bean's overnight hospital stay, requiring a payment plan. The boys currently have more in their little savings accounts than we have in ours.

We had to add the in-patient vet care to the card.

Hubby and I had a couple of heart-to-hearts about the way we spend money and that it needs to change. We must cut our grocery spending. Our personal spending must be for needs and not wants. A couple things he wants will have to wait until he can save up for them. I hate it. I'm always the "bad cop" saying "no". I'm the one who forgoes my fun money when we're short. I'm resentful about that part and it's something I need to work out (charting last year's spending and comparing his personal stuff vs. mine was an eye-opener).

We make decent money and should be able to follow our budget with a small cushion for emergencies, but we don't.

Hubby's on call this week and it's already been interesting. The latest "customer" was a dude who got drunk and pissed off his girlfriend by being a drunk asshole in the middle of the night, so she told him to leave. He decided it would be a good idea to get in bed with a neighbor after climbing in her window. Unfortunately for him, she lives with 3 other young women, including her lesbian cousin and the cousin's girlfriend who didn't take to kindly to the dude and beat the crap out of him. He ran back to the girlfriend's house and tried to hide from the cops, but got tazed trying to sneak out a window.

Of course I cracked up when I heard about the ass-beating and tazing. He had that and more coming to him.

I do not think it's funny that he broke into the neighbors' house. Getting into bed with the young woman was downright creepy and wrong.

We're not doing so well on the pet front.

We had older momma cat put to sleep about a month ago. She was on thyroid medicine and had been slowly declining. I went out of town on a family emergency, and when I came back she could no longer eat, smelled terrible, and had an eye infection. Hubby took her to the emergency vet (of course this happened on a Sunday) and she was put to sleep once we learned she had a huge tumor in her neck that was preventing her from eating and had pressed against the nerve that controls blinking -she could no longer move the eyelid causing the eye infection.

Peanut took it very hard. We talked about heaven and how she no longer is sick. How the angels are looking after her and how she can watch over us. I pulled out our copy of Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylant and it seemed to be a comfort for Peanut (although I always cry when reading it.)

Now I'm afraid we need to add Dog Heaven to our library. Lily's had vomiting spells for the past couple of months. The vet couldn't find anything wrong when it first started and gave Lily a round of antibiotics and anti-nausea meds. It worked for a while, then the vomiting episodes started again. Two weeks ago it got worse and I realized she had lost a good bit of weight. Again she was given anti-nausea meds and another medication for her liver (I think). Last week she was tested for Cushing's Disease and came back negative. She's miserable, nauseous, week, and not eating even after another visit yesterday with anti-nausea shots and pills. The vet doesn't know what's wrong, her liver enzymes are off, and if she continues like this I don't think she'll last much longer, nor do we want to prolong her misery. Hubby and I feel terrible and we're worried about how the boys will handle it when she passes.

So, it's been a while. Where to begin?

We transferred the boys to a new daycare and love it. It's 10 minutes from our house, is a certified Pre-K provider, and provides after-school care and transportation from the elementary school. Win-win. We met the director a while back at church and were very impressed with her. Hubby checked out the center about a week after talking with her and it's incredible. They don't plunk the kids in front of the TV in the mornings and afternoons and the director is not afraid to let go of any staff who aren't nurturing and kind to the children.

Peanut made two new friends on his first day there. Both boys are happy at drop off. The only days we've had crying were on the first day and one day when Bean was sick (and I ended up picking him up two hours later).

Peanut frequently talks about his school friends. We found out one of them is the grandson/son of the bible thumper family down the street. Peanut talks about him all the time and Hubby recognized the grandma one day when she was picking the littly boy up. Just to be sure, he asked Peanut what his friend's mom looks like.

"She's tall. She has long hair. And she has a squeaky voice."

Yep, it's her. Hubby and I cracked up (she does have a high voice).

***

Bean keeps us entertained as always. He's now using 2-3 word sentences, sings along to "Twinkle, Twinkle" (as much as he can) and says hearty "Amens" in church and after bedtime prayers. He can count along fairly well to 1-10, too.

***

Peanut has learned to read!

The boys are big fans of Spongebob Squarepants. Hubby introduced Peanut to the show when he was a wee little bit and now Bean is an addict, too. He regularly points at the TV and exclaims "Bob-bob!" Oy.

The majority of the show's characters annoy the hell out of me. I have to admit, though, that I think Mr. Krabs is a hoot. But EVERY FREAKIN TIME I watch the show, I picture Clancy Brown (Mr. Krabs' voice) as Brother Justin or the creepy guard Hadley from The Shawshank Redemption. It's unnerving.

I.am.wiped.out.

The day after my last post, Bean woke up with a 103-ish fever. I stayed home and took him to the ped...lingering cold/cough with a fever got my mommy radar going. Lungs were clear, eye was still goopy, and eye drops were dispensed. He was still feeling crappy on Thursday, so Hubby stayed with him. He sounded wheezy and seemed to be breathing fast when I got home from work. Hubby didn't think he was wheezing, just noisy from the stuffy nose. I timed his respirations and they were OK. Peanut got hooked up with the Wii, Hubby went out to the garage to teach his martial arts class, and I settled into my bed with Bean to watch Nemo. Bean was definitly wheezy. Then he was REALLY wheezy, so I dragged out the nebulizer. He was still really wheezy and breathing at 60 respirations/min. Hubby called the on-call and they told us to take him into the ER. We went straight from sign-in to triage to the back. Bean had a series of tests and we learned he had RSV and pneumonia. He was put on IV antibiotics and breathing treatments every 2 hours and got to stay overnight. I finally got him settled down to sleep at aboyut 3 am. Between all the albuterol and tests, he was wired.

He's much better now. The wheezing seems to have stopped and he's running around like normal, although not eating as well as usual.

Apparently, RSV has been making its course through daycare. The kicker is that a child sick with RSV was brought into daycare the week before Bean got so sick and the owner had to threaten the parents with a call to DCF before they would pick the child up. Chances are Bean would have gotten it anyway, but I am pissed. RSV may have meant a nasty cold and cough for their child, but it meant a scary hospital visit for mine. I wonder if we'll be back to him wheezing and needing the nebulizer every time he gets a cold.

I was going to try and post at least once a month, preferably more, but missed January. Oh well.

Bean is sick again with a cough and pinkeye. Peanut has the cough as well. The ear tubes are doing their job, though. He did well with the surgery, and wasn't quite as bad coming out of anesthesia as his big brother. We thought for sure he had an ear infection a week after the tubes went in. He woke early one morning with a fever, grabbing the sides of his head and crying "booboo". He just wanted to be held and sleep. No eating, little drinking. The usual ear infection symptoms. I moved up his follow-up with the ENT. Low and behold, his ears were clear. Later in the day he vomited a bit followed by lots of nasty, nasty runs. Yep, it was a stomach bug. We had a rough week of lots of gross diapers and raging diaper rash. Then I caught it. It was one of those sneaky ones that lingers. You think you're OK, start eating real foods, then spend the following day running to the bathroom. Fun times.

Peanut has a new bunkbed. He did great sleeping on the top bunk for about a week until he decided he'd rather sleep on lower one so Mommy or Daddy will lie there with him until he's asleep. We moved both boys into a room together (Bean's still in the crib) and they love it. Bean has been doing great.

Peanut's been having some trouble in Pre-K paying attention and following directions. I really, really hope this is just normal little-kid-getting-bored stuff. We check with his teacher every day to make sure he's doing his work. No Wii is allowed on bad nights and we're considering banning it altogether on weeknights. He was screwing around, not paying attention yesterday and told the teacher "I'm too tired to do my work because I was up late playing Wii." WTF, over? The real story is he went to bed at normal bedtime and screwed around instead of falling asleep. Obviously there was no Wii last night.

Dr. Evil is still here. I've heard nothing about the new job. Maybe the written offer never came? Maybe she turned it down? Please, no.

Hubby and I had a good chuckle the other night. He lost about 60 lbs last year by eating well, counting calories, and exercising. He used Alli (aka, eat right or you'll shit your pants) to help in the beginning. I'm so proud of him and he looks great. He's wearing a smaller waist size than when we started dating 16 years ago. He's been weeding out old clothes, storing some and donating others. He came across some tactical pants that could go to another cop, so a coworker's husband took them. I think I've written about them before: both are cops, he's also in the Guard, has cheated on his wife, was likely cheating again during his last deployment and was threatening divorce to her and the kids and causing all sorts of mayhem. He also rides her about her weight and calls her "obese". She's average weight. He once told her that if she gained more than 20 lbs he would divorce her. And now he's wearing the "fat pants". Asshole.