Hubby is investigating a case in which the victim's car tires were slashed and a book was stolen from the car. The victim suspected his ex and a witness placed her there at the time of the slashing.

Hubby called the ex to ask her about the case. The conversation went something like this:

Hubby: "I'm investigating a case in which victim's car tires were slashed and property was stolen. Will you answer some questions for me."

Suspect: "Which tire slashing was it? I did it the first time but don't know nothin about the second time."

Hubby: "What did you use to slash the tires and did you remove a book from the car."

Suspect: "I used scissors, but didn't take nothin from the car."

Hubby: "I'll need you to come in next week and sign a statement."

Suspect is hesitant.

Hubby: "Otherwise I'll have a warrant issued and you'll be arrested and I'll get your statement in jail. It'll be a lot easier for us both if you just come sign the statement."

Suspect: "Jail? Why would I have to go to jail?"

Hubby: "Ma'am you admitted to committing a crime."

The suspect got angry and the converation ended.

About 30 minutes later, hubby gets a call from Suspect.

Suspect: "I want to let you know that 2 weeks ago Victim spanked our baby so hard it left welts."

Hubby: "Did you report this to DCF?"

Suspect: "No. I don't want DCF involved."

Hubby: "Well, by law I'm required to notify DCF. And since you knew about this and waited 2 weeks to tell anyone, I'm reporting that, too"

Suspect: "What?"

Hubby: "Well, if he hit her hard enough to leave welts, why didn't you report it then? That's serious. Do you have anything else to report?"

Suspect "No. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Ah, gotta love when stupid people try to get revenge on eachother.


Hubby also know several Hogs & Frogs (Game & Wildlife Commission officers). They deal with stupid poachers. One of the officers placed a decoy near a back road that poachers like to use and hid out to see if the bait worked. Sure enough a would-be poacher comes along, stops his truck and shoots the decoy. It doesn't move. So he shoots it again. The officer then arrests the guy. The guys admits that he was puzzled as to why the deer didn't move. Duh.